by Donatella Tordoni

The underlying force behind panic attacks

Dissociation from life due to lack of nurturing in childhood

Separation from life participation indicates the use of Green Rose

Healing not the fear of death, but the fear of life

About Donatella Tordoni

When I started my practice as a flower essence practitioner twenty years ago, I often encountered clients who experienced panic attacks. At that time, the Flourish Fear-Less formula had not yet been created and indeed, it would have been valuable for various situations.

I had to address the issue of panic attacks with the experience I had at that time. At some point, to my own surprise in some cases, I saw that the flowers used previously ( Rock Rose , Red Clover , Rescue Remedy aka Five-Flower Formula , etc.) did not provide the expected results. After apparent well-being, the panic attacks continued to recur in a cyclical way; after being "dormant" for a period of time, they returned to upset life. I realized then that there had to be something very subtle that moved from the depths and that at one point, roused these unexpected episodes.

The meeting with Anna offered me the opportunity to carry out a wide-ranging investigation that allowed me to receive the answers for which I was looking. Our professional relationship saw us walk side by side for a long time, about six years. Of course, with different issues and demands, but that of panic attacks was the background, like the soundtrack of a movie, sometimes re-emerging imperceptibly and sometimes in an obvious manifest way.

The underlying force behind panic attacks

Anna was a young woman of 31 years and a very nice person. Although not Italian, she expressed herself well. She immediately started talking, not only highlighting the problem of recurrent panic attacks that had started six years previously. She also pointed out a strong tension from being very focused on herself, due to the fact that the warnings of a panic attack manifested in the pit of her stomach. Her attention was always focused there.

I asked her to tell me more about her family of origin and she told me about her ex-alcoholic mother. Taking care of her children at times was a heavy burden for her. Anna was nostalgic for never having been nurtured and embraced.
We started with the essences of Agrimony - Mariposa Lily - Mimulus - Heather - Elm - Gorse , combined with Rescue Remedy to be taken when needed. In the period between the first meeting and the next, about two months, there were crisis panic incidents, initially very intense, but Anna managed to control them, referring to being able to "talk to herself and provide courage on her own for feeling and being brave."

During our second meeting, she reported an episode when she was an adolescent and she was told by a doctor who had done surgery on her that she had had a near death experience. The thought of "near death" was often present when she began to feel the onset of a panic attack and so it reconnected to that initial traumatic episode.

Star of Bethlehem was the specific flower for the trauma issue in combination with Golden Ear Drops to help her better contact and express emotions, and Saint John's Wort was spiritual protection for her soul on this path of awareness.

Dissociation from life due to lack of nurturing in childhood

From what I learned from the stories told by Anna, who at each session added other details of her life, I realized that until now Anna had never been in the flow of her life. There had been some kind of separation between her and her life since the beginning of her childhood. This little soul had come to existence without anyone accepting, loving her and caring for her. She could not therefore experience that life is a gift. Her experience with the events that cyclically presented to her was that life was a difficult uphill journey of loneliness and sadness. Her reaction was to dissociate herself from what she lived because there was no joy. She had not known lightheartedness in her childhood, nor that of being loved and guided, thereby fostering confidence in herself and in life. She had missed being comforted, embraced, loved, and supported by those very basic figures from whom to learn how to move with confidence and security in her own life. In an attempt to protect herself, disconnecting her heart from living, Anna unknowingly had generated a separation and a deep sense of alienation from life itself, which was perceived as an "enemy." The constant presence of the fear of death, which Anna described with countless examples, was another indication of her unconscious fear of living; this fear was so deep-seated in her, it wrapped her like a claw. Sometimes the claw left the grip for a short time and these were the times when Anna gave positive feedback, also speaking of a peace she had never experienced before. But her emotional fragility was not able to cope with the claw of fear that regularly regained possession of her being.

In fact, what emerged regularly on the surface was a past that was thought to have resolved, but that every time was a new challenge not only for Anna, but also for me who accompanied her. In addition, panic crises were always present even if Anna, in the meantime, was able to deal with them, though not always with ease. The flowers used to support her ( Agrimony - Mimulus - Saint John's Wort - Chamomile - Borage - Explorer's Gentian - Rock Rose ) assured her a relief of the typical symptoms of an anxiety attack—palpitations, stomach cramps, fear of fainting—and allowed her to restructure her life. In fact, she went to the gym, and now she could go out without difficulty, and she felt supported and encouraged by the flowers.

Separation from life participation indicates the use of Green Rose

Anna reported great optimism and bottom-line positivity that helped her to defuse the most demanding moments. With this new scenario, I felt to introduce Green Rose instead of Mimulus and Chamomile. Read more about Green Rose here .

The feeling of Anna's strong separation from her life, which she lived with fear and not with joy, was a clear indication that it was now the flower to use. Initially, the dialogue between Anna and Green Rose was not easy. From the very beginning, everything came back to the surface, like at the beginning. It was a beautiful "healing crisis." This was confirmation that we were finally on the correct path. So, the formula with Green Rose was taken once a day in the evening before going to bed, alternating days with Mariposa Lily and Self-Heal as a support. This was done for two months.

The situation took a turn when Anna began to work with Green Rose twice a day, still alternating with Mariposa Lily and Self-Heal . Given her particular sensitivity, I had advised her to start twice daily when she felt ready. The feedback I received from Anna confirmed my initial feeling of having perceived that Green Rose was the flower that she needed. The symptoms she normally felt had given way to a serenity and deep peace she had never known, which now helped her face particularly challenging moments.

Next, she began taking the flowers 3 times a day. At this point, Green Rose was taken alone in conjunction with another formula containing Agrimony - Rock Rose - Borage - Explorer’s Gentian - White Chestnut and Chery Plum , every 3 days. This went on for nine months.

Healing not the fear of death, but the fear of life

Green Rose created the missing link with life, opening a closed heart. I was not surprised therefore, about the reactions this flower caused and Anna's great difficulty in dealing with this essence for a while. Green Rose was doing nothing but "removing," layer by layer, the fear sedimented in her heart that then shifted into those extremely unpleasant feelings about which she often spoke. Anna often talked about her fear of death but in reality, she was afraid of life.
Later, Green Rose was paired with Chrysanthemum and Joshua Tree for more focused work on her true spiritual identity transcending death, and a greater awareness of the spiritual ego in human dimension.

This was the decisive turning point: this combination taken for one year allowed Anna to openly and confidently open to her life. Now she only expected the good. Her relationship with Green Rose was definitely different and she was extremely happy to take the flower.

One year later, everything was finally resolved with great satisfaction for Anna, and for me as well. It was a demanding job, but both of us were determined to win, and we succeeded at last.

About Donatella Tordoni

Donatella Tordoni had practiced as a flower essence therapist since 1995. She was a member of the Managing Committee of Unione di Floriterapia in Milan, a well-known Flower Essence Therapy Association in Italy, where she participated also as part of the teaching staff. Donatella was also an authorized teacher for the FES Certification Program in Italy.

Donatella had carried on research activity with the Flower Essence Society since the year 2000, focusing on the healing properties of new flower essences.

Donatella described the core background for her healing work as "the great honor I was granted for encountering and being aware of the healing energies of Mother Earth." Through this spiritual experience came a heightened awareness for the "expression and beauty of flowers," and she became an instrument for these healing forces since that time.