"I no longer care about other people's judgements"

Note: The following piece is the personal experience of Simona, a young woman of 30 years, who took Joshua Tree for 6 months. Her narrative is like a diary, describing the ongoing changes she noticed. The report is translated as it is, without any comments, as Simona’s own personal experience with Joshua Tree.

I became interested in Flower Essence Therapy in February 2002 following my husband’s experience. For about 5 months I took various flower essences that helped me to be more self-confident, less self-critical and more open towards other people. In July 2002 I became acquainted with “Joshua Tree.”

13.07.02: I started taking this flower while I was on holiday. I lived this period with quietness: I could savour all the beautiful aspects of the world that surrounded me (I travelled for one week among the hills of Tuscany). I have also noticed that Joshua was acting on the physical level, too. In fact, due to the various car transfers I often felt sick and had headaches: the flower was easing these states.

03.08.02: Going back to work, Joshua let the daily difficulties come up: I could not accept falsity or unfairness among colleagues, as well a the lack of respect for one’s own personality. These situations made me very nervous, impulsive. I nearly lost my temper as I did not accept what was happening.

04.09.02: It has been really a difficult period. Maybe the most difficult. I lived as in a depressive state: I felt very uncommunicative, I did not feel like talking, I felt scared of anything. I was crying very often without a real reason. I did not like myself and I did not like what was around me.

21.09.02: I have started feeling Joshua as a friend, a life companion. At the beginning I took the other flower essences regularly, with precision but with little intimacy. With Joshua Tree this was different: “I could feel it was really mine”.

10.11.02: I have spent 15 days without taking Joshua Tree: I was not worried but I missed it. I was aware of a certain fixation towards smells and cleanliness.

23.11.02: After taking Joshua Tree for one week, I had dreams every night: there were often many scenarios with different people. I still felt like crying, a strong feeling, as I felt the oppressive judgement of the other people.

19.12.02: I have started having bad thoughts and I was very sad. I often had dreams with water (sea, river, swimming pool) connected to the fear of drowning.

19.01.03: Many things have changed and I have not realized this fact. In the evening when I tell my husband about some events of the day, I do not realize that what I have said and done in situations was once very difficult for me. This makes me understand that I do not care any longer about other people’s reaction or judgement.

03.02.03: I have told my mother of my experience with Flower Essence Therapy. Most strangely I did not cry while telling her about me. On the contrary I felt self-assured and determined. I was disappointed a little bit afterwards because, as usual, she has not understood or approved my choice.

Recovery from Depression and Panic Attack
Healing Emotional Isolation through Birthing the Spiritual Self
"I no longer care about other people's judgements"
"As if a Tree Was Taking Root, Clearing the Ground"
Helping an Adopted Child

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